What don’t the Abandon Ship lot do? Well they’ve gone and added denim to the list.
Get hold of the unisex Black Rebel skinny fit jeans now from their web store. We’re a big fan of the photos they’ve shot for ‘em too.
Go get them HERE.
MCM COMIC CON IS IN LONDON THIS WEEKEND
What are you doing this weekend? Nothing? Exactly. MCM Comic Con is in London this weekend, 24-26 May. There’s the first play of the upcoming Deadpool game, loads of special guests including Shaun Of The Dead/Hot Fuzz director Edgar Wright promoting his new movie The World’sEnd and sexy lady Camilla Luddington who voiced Lara Croft in the latest Tomb Raider game.
For ticket information as well as the full list of guests and exhibits visit the MCM website HERE.
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ALEX BAKER ON NEW MUSIC: FONIK
Ever heard the story about this dude that proper hated this other dude because this other dude fucked this dude’s wife? Dude, slack, you don’t go around fucking people’s wives… not a good look. Well, anyway, this was back in the day when people were fucking bonkers and killed each other for having different coloured skin and because they thought people had magic powers and shit… so, true to the time, this dude got a gun and went to shoot this ‘wife-fucking’ dude in the motherfucking head. He wasn’t, like, ex-military or anything, so he was a truly crap shot, he missed completely and instead sunk the bullet into a tree on this guy’s land. Murder fail. Cool artillery skills bro!
Years passed, the dude who got cheated on died and the wife-shagging dude lived a long, healthy, happy life (bastard) on his big-ass farm in the middle of the Cotswolds, or wherever it was. One day he decided he wanted to remodel his land and part of that remodelling process was the removal of some of the trees. He hired a demolition chappy, who unknowingly rigged up the bullet-laden tree with explosives, pushed the button (or stroked the donkey… pulled the yarn… you know… whatever you did back in the day to detonate shit) – and BOOM – the tree was no more, obliterated into nothingness. However, within that tree the bullet laid in wait… and where do you think that bullet went?
The bullet left the tree at speed and drove itself into the wife-shagging dude’s skull, killing him instantly!!!
Yeah, I know right! WTFFFFFFFF!!!?
FATE IN ACTION – or is it just a coincidence?
We’re not going to get into an existential debate regarding the validity of various different philosophical theories on the subjects of free will vs determinism; fate vs. chaos; grand-plan-godliness vs. nihilism, and the like – but what I am going to do, is say this…
…sometimes – doesn’t the most fucking CRAZY shit happen!
More on what I mean by that, complete with an INSANE personal example next time – but for now let’s talk shit with a music producer, who has Skrillex quaking in his small, yet highly fashionable boots.
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NICOLE IS ABOUT TO BE EXPELLED
If she heads to ballet school like that she’s not gonna last long. We would go to the ballet if all the girls dressed like that, but somehow we don’t think they do…
Check out an incredible Nicole gallery HERE.
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OH, ACE MOVE DUDE
Jealous of all the sexy ladies you’re going to marry after that one.
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STAY CLASSY MOTHERFUCKERS, IT’S A NEW ANCHORMAN 2 TRAILER
Everyone loves Anchorman. It’s one of the most quotable films of all-time it’s coming back this December with a potentially even quotier film. We’ve got really high hopes for this.
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STEPHY GREGORY: THE HUMAN CATAPULT
“DUUUUCK!! THERE’S FLYING BRAS AND KNICKERS EVERYWHERE!!”
Check out Stephy’s first ever Alt Girl gallery HERE.
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SATURDAY SOFA CINEMA: SMALL SOLDIERS
When you were a kid, I bet you wished your toys would come alive, no? Hanging out in your room with all your Transformers and Teenage Muant Hero Turtles, gossiping about your parents and that girl in maths that you fancy? WELL YOU WOULDN’T BE WISHING IT IF THEY HAD GUNS AND WERE TRYING TO KILL YOU WOULD YOU? You and your foolish childish wishes, grow up.
That’s what happens in Small Soldiers – little solider toys called Commando Elite are implanted with military micro chips for some reason so they go mental and start trying to kill their arch-enemy toys – The Gorgonites (the friendly ones). Eventually a bunch of pesky kids get caught in the middle and soon there are explosions and staples and remote control cars and The Spice Girls.
Let us explain… Explosions because it’s an action movie (durr brain). Staples because the soldiers have to make their own weapons out of SMALL things because they are SMALL. Remote control cars because they can’t reach the pedals on normal cars. And The Spice Girls because at one point they play The Spice Girls and it’s really good. Always back up your claims everyone.
For a kids film, it’s got a great cast – Tommy Lee Jones, Kirsten Dunst, Phil Hartman, Denis Leary, Frank Langella and David Cross – and it’s full of fantastic visual effects, it’s all round good.
It’s got a Spice Girls song in it. Watch it.
It’s on ITV2 at 6.30pm.
