Yep, not content with the drunken ramblings we delivered from Download earlier this year, the FRONT crew are heading to Knebworth to get royally fucked in the name of metal, and to break new journalistic boundaries by keeping you updated in the most Web 2.0 way ever – a mothershitting liveblog. Follow our thrills, spills, kills and chills, our highs, lows and mediums, our pants, tits and faces, as we wander around a field and try not to die under the massive amounts of facial hair.

If you’re heading up, look out for us. There’ll be quite a few of us about, so hopefully this time the liveblog will be more than just Mike going “There’s a man next to me and I’m drunk and I’m hungry”. Also, keep your eyes peeled for a few saucy Alt Girls wandering about, and try not to scare them, yeah?

Alternatively, follow it directly at http://www.scribblelive.com/Event/FRONT_Does_Sonisphere

It’s 31 July, 2009. Fuck us with a plastic horse, where’s the year going? We can’t slow the passage of time, despite our best efforts (shouting “Halt” a lot, shooting a clock with a crossbow, bombing Greenwich Observatory), so we might as well accept that one day we’ll all die, and have a few beers to get over it. More than a few, in fact – we’re gonna have a concrete fucking arse-ton of the stuff. In fact, we intend to get so shitfaced that we end up like P Diddy up there, grasping fat women and looking earnest but confused. It’ll be amazing. Check after the jump for a dog having a beer, the cast of Star Wars being super-casual (to silence the BTTF haters) and a panda showing off.
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Dan Lacey is a very, very strange artist who normally paints pictures of celebrities with pancakes on their heads, but has recently branched out into producing vivid images of a naked Barack Obama having all kinds of kerrrazy adventures with his unicorn pal.

See more naked-Obama-with-unicorn paintings here, and take a look at some of Lacey’s other unhinged works here.

Ladies and gentlemen, allow us to direct you towards Fuck Yeah! Animals With Casts, and put some time aside to thank us later.

Roving, raving FRONT columnist Alex Sim-Wise has gone and made another of her wizard Sim-Wise Does Games featurettes, available for you to watch above. In this one, ASW pays a visit to Rocksteady Studios, makers of the soon-come Batman: Arkham Asylum game.

If you enjoy that one, you can watch more of Alex’s audio-visual video gaming shenanigans over at her YouTube channel. And if you don’t enjoy it… then… well, you can just flipping well naff off then, can’t you.

Makers of FRONT Brew and all round beer-loving legends BrewDog have caused a bit of a boozy stir this week by launching the UK’s strongest ever beer.
Tokyo* comes in a whopping 18.2% abv, which is well over four times as strong as your average bit of hooch, but chief brewing dudes James and Martin (pictured) insist it’s all about the deep flavours, and not just some excuse to get so drunk that you wag your genitals at a local priest, or anything silly like that.

This is no dodgy off-license affair, though, and is only available directly from BrewDog online. Check it out, why don’t ya?

We’re a mere not-that-long away from heading to Knebworth for Sonisphere, and we’re starting to get excited. We’re going to do another one of those liveblog things like we shambolically tried at Download, and most of us will probably end up joining Metallica and becoming millionaires.
When asked by Metal Hammer how they’d outdo all the other amazing acts to play at Knebworth over the years, Metallica front man and occasional facial hair pioneer James Hetfield said, “To top them will be difficult but we’re going to try by breaking up onstage before I announce that I’m gay.” Good times.