FRONT Magazine

LUKE’S ALPHABET TOUR: F – FUCKFACE UNSTOPPABLE

I fucking love Jackass and everyone involved in it. From Johnny Knoxville to Raab Himself, all these guys who got paid by MTV to hurt themselves were always on my TV growing up and it’s still funny now. So I jumped at the chance to go and see Bam Margera’s new band Fuckface Unstoppable – a) Because it’s a great way to tick F off the Alphabet Tour and b) Because I’m too curious not to.

Who: Fuckface Unstoppable
When: 24 July, 2013
Where: The Underworld, London
Beer: Around £4 for a cider?
Average age: 23
Cost of a t-shirt: £20
Best bit: The gang rendition of All My Friends Are Dead.
Worst bit: The sudden confused ending.

“Bam Margera! What will he do next?” “Whatever the fuck I want!” The infamous phrase from Viva La Bam – the show that made Bam the man he is today. Not content with kicking the shit out of his body in Jackass, he went on a mission to piss his parents and neighbours off by building a skate park inside his house, staging his own demolition derby and having Slayer play in his back garden. So what the shit could he do next? Oh… form a band.

Fuckface Unstoppable is the name of Bam’s new venture that could be interpreted as a vanity project but he’s always been involved with music in some way. He was in GNARKILL! (remember them?) and his brother Jesse is the drummer in CKY so his own band is a logical progression. Band is a very loose term, though, on stage tonight there’s around ten people including two drummers, girlfriends, various vocalists and photographers.

But before any music is actually played, Brandon Novak is crowdsurfed around the Underworld in a massive fuck-off dinghy while drunkenly screaming along to Phil Collins’ In The Air Tonight because Novak. He’s in obvious pain thanks to a trip to hospital last night after Bam shoved a rock up his arse causing it to tear in two and fall out, but with enough booze in his system he can still party hard.

No-one knows what the piss is going on but everyone is more than happy to go with the flow and just roll with it… then Bam walks out. Never have I heard such a deafening roar for one dude at the Underworld. Everyone there grew up watching Bam hurt himself for their amusement and now it’s time to repay the favour.

Saying that, the crowd are pretty stagnant as it’s more a case of watching in awe and complete bemusement as Bam and co. tear through an hour of Clutch and Turbonegro covers. But don’t put these guys down as a glorified karaoke troupe, Fuckface Unstoppable have a few tunes of their own including Little Dick Little Dick (about Novak’s encounter with a transvestite) and the dubstep brainfuck Bend My Dick. Seeing a sold out venue sing “I’m gonna bend my dick into my ass so I can fuck myself” in unison is nothing short of surreal – and I’m not ashamed to say I was joining in. You can’t not love Bam – he’s cocky, he’s surly and he’s a bit of an idiot – but so what? That’s why we love him.

As the set ends abruptly after the obligatory encore (hundreds of people chanting “Fuckface! Fuckface!” will never stop being funny) it’s a bit of a let down there’s no crazy stunts but this could be evolution of Bam removing himself from the Jackass world and becoming a musician. Hopefully he can do both, though. We need more of this.

Stay tuned for G which I have no ideas for yet. IF YOU’RE IN A BAND BEGINNING WITH G CAN YOU PLEASE HIT ME UP? CHEERS!

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