FRONT Magazine
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SLAYER, MASTODON AND MORE FOR SONISPHERE

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It’s 2014 folks and we all know what that means – a fresh run of festivals to lose our minds, wallets and friends at! And the first big bastard weekender to drop names this year is Sonisphere. They’ve already stepped it the fuck up on their return with Metallica, The Prodigy and Iron Maiden headlining but today they’ve gone and announced Mastodon, Slayer (sorry, SLAYYYAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH), Gojira, Ghost and Alice In Chains. What a bloody line-up this is turning out to be. No-one can dispute just how good Mastodon are, Slayer will always be Slayer, Gojira WILL be your new favourite metal band, Ghost’s live show has to be seen and Alice In Chains are the best grunge band alive today.

GET YOUR SORRY ASSES TO SONISPHERE THIS JULY. GET YOUR TICKETS HERE.

SUICIDE SILENCE, SIKTH, DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN AND MORE FOR DOWNLOAD 2014

Just when you didn’t think summer could be any more exciting, Download have gone and announced a load of very metal bastards for what is lining up to be one of the most fun weekends of 2014. Not only is there Suicide Silence (as seen in FRONT 189), The Dillinger Escape Plan, Memphis May Fire, Thy Art Is Murder and Feed The Rhino – but motherfuckin’ Sikth are back together. SIKTH! If you’re not losing your minds about this then you need to have a rethink about owning ears in the first place.

Head to the official site for more information. We’ll see you in June.

BLINK 182 ARE HEADLINING READING AND LEEDS

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Yeah, you read that correctly – Blink 182 are playing their ONLY UK SHOWS OF 2014 at Reading and Leeds festivals. It’s no surprise that we’re proper stoked for this cos Blink are one of the most fun live bands in the world and everyone had a copy of Take Off Your Pants And Jacket. This will be mega.

But Blink aren’t the only band that have been announced, motherfuckin’ Of Mice & Men are hitting up Reading and Leeds next year! As well as Disclosure and Metronomy. August Bank Holiday weekend – we’re coming for you.

Tickets for Reading are HERE and Leeds HERE.

THE FIRST BATCH OF BANDS HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCED FOR GROEZROCK

Groezrock2014Europe’s premier punk festival has announced its first bands and we’re already pretty psyched. Not only is Groezrock packing The Offspring they’re backing it up with NOFX, The Hives, Modern Life Is War, The Menzingers and La Dispute. Tickets go on sale this Friday on the official site. If you can get to Belgium next May – do it.

 

WHAT WE LEARNED ON FRIDAY AT READING

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We’ve made our annual pilgrimage to Berkshire for three days of loudness and being sick. Here’s what yesterday taught us:
- You know that thing you do in a huge crowd, where you go “Yeah, this’ll be easy, we’re between the vegan sandwich stall, the toilet and the bit where the disabled people go. I’m just off to the bar, back in a sec”? That thing is BULLSHIT. You will never see your friends again if you do that.
- We saw author Will Self walk past Benji from Skindred. Where else would that happen? Nowhere! (Except maybe like a high street or somewhere like that we guess, like if they were in the same city or something. Loads of places potentially actually. Alright, as you were.)
- Chinese burns still hurt. Also, are they racist?
- There’s a place in Reading near the festival called the Genting Club. Hey, imagine if it was called the Djenting Club, eh? That would be [note to self: fill this punch line in later, ideally hilariously].
- Billie Joe Armstrong, when wearing a red-and-black striped jumper, pretty much looks like a grown-up Dennis The Menace. Except for maybe one song in three, when he’s more like Daudlin The Maudlin (yeah, that isn’t anyone, we just thought it was funny when pissed yesterday and are still saying it).
- Making the joke that the Leeds festival is the total opposite of the Wireless festival doesn’t make as many people laugh as you’d hope. Maybe it’s too clever or something.
- There’s something mildly ironic in thousands and thousands of people singing along to Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, a song about loneliness. We’re too hungover to work out what that is though.
- Alkaline Trio still got it, yo.
- Everyone in the world knows the lyrics to Basket Case. The fucking Dalai Lama knows the lyrics to Basket Case.
- Honor from Cerebral Ballzy came into the press tent when we were doing an interview, went up to the fridge (that had a well-intentioned sign on it saying “Please only take one at a time”) and cleared the fucker out. He dropped most of them. Dude’s a fucking rock star.
- Remember when we did a piece in the mag and got New Found Glory to form a human pyramid? Yeah, they remember that too. Usually people forget us by the time we leave the room.
- Saying to the bar staff, “Haha, you can give me them for free if you want” gets zero laughs and marks you out as terrible.

GOT 28 MINUTES? INTERESTED IN THE 2013 GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS? HOLY SHIT, YOU’RE IN LUCK!

If you have any questions about the Insane Clown Posse-run, Vanilla Ice-featuring Gathering Of The Juggalos left after this, your only option is to drag yourself to Cave-in Rock, Illinois on 7-11 August and experience it for yourself. Or, save yourself the time and effort (and most of the money) and read all about when we went to last year’s festival.

WHAT WE LEARNED AT DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL 2013

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So we went to one of our favourite places in the world this weekend – Download Festival. Three days of muddy carnage fuelled by more beer than Oktoberfest – this is what festivals are meant to be. We can’t remember much of what happened… but here’s some of what we’ve pieced together from the flashbacks we keep having:

  • Slipknot are STILL one of the greatest live bands of all time. No-one had shit on that performance.
  • It’s great to watch confused Korn fans half-dance to their dubstep tracks.
  • Riding fairground rides at 2am in the rain is possibly the bleakest thing you can do.
  • If you’re in your tent before 3am then you’re not as hardcore as you thought.
  • Free booze is good booze.
  • Nothing will prepare you for seeing a man dressed as a woman pissing into his own mouth at 11am.
  • Too much laughing gas will send your brain into spasm and take you back to your childhood.
  • You can inhale laughing gas out of condoms as long as your self-esteem isn’t very high.
  • Seeing a really sexy lady selling cigarettes is enough to make you start smoking. However, walking up to her and saying “You’re like a wonder from a dream” will not impress anyone.
  • You can’t take a picture of your own shadow with the flash on.
  • Hedges can be slept in.
  • There’s no way to style out being sick mid-sentence.
  • There’s no way to style out pissing yourself in a tent at 6am.
  • Smoking fags that spent the night in that piss is one of the worst things ever.
  • Lifting your shirt up and shouting at a group of photographers “Hey! Hey! Take a picture of me!” will have limited success.
  • If you don’t start your set with a Spitfire flyover then you’re doing metal wrong.
  • People in green high-vis jackets tend to know fuck-all.
  • People in orange high-vis jackets know a tiny bit more.
  • The iguanadon was discovered in 1822 in Lewes by Dr Gideon Mantell.
  • Shitting at a festival is just as harrowing as ever.

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Dates for Download 2014 have already been announced as 13-15 June. We’ll see you there!

ENTER SHIKARI AND PARKWAY DRIVE FOR WARPED TOUR UK

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Warped Tour just keeps getting bigger and Ally Pally is getting torn the fuck apart this November when ravey punks Enter Shikari and Aussie beatdown merchants Parkway Drive come rolling into town. There’s a load more bands been added to the party weekender too, like Blood Command, Hacktivist and Neck Deep. We’re proper psyched for this one.

Get your tickets HERE.

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