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IT’S THE FIRST TRAILER FOR THE AVENGERS: THE TV SHOW!

Well that’s what we’re calling it anyway, it’s actually called Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. It follows the human dudes in the Marvel Universe – people like Agent Coulson from Avengers Assemble, and hopefully his hot mate Agent Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders). We’re definitely interested to see how they deal with Agent Coulson after what happened in Avengers Assemble, but them lot at Marvel are a bunch of clever clogs so hopefully they’ll come up with something better than ‘IT WAS ALL A DREAM ~~I USED TO READ WORD UP MAGAZINE~~‘ or anything equally stupid.

We’re pretty excited about this and we’re definitely going to watch it.

Here’s a fun little ‘viral’ blog all about it, sorry, we mean a REAL blog all about the REAL story behind it: wearetherisingtide.com/blog

NOT WATCHED THE ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT SEASON FOUR TRAILER? YOU’VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE

God DAMN we love this show. Season four is all gonna be dumped at once by Netflix on 26 May, which means we’re all going to have to get Netflix. We’ll have to cancel another Direct Debit to make room for it – guess Grandpa’s nursing home bill can learn to pay itself.

WHO WANTS TO RUIN CHILDREN’S TV SHOWS?

Illustrator Luvisi has reimagined some of our most beloved characters from TV shows and games and fucked them up royally. Just look at Finn! He looks like he’s been chowing down on some super-tasty intestines all day and then received a golden dagger to the chest for his trouble. But it’s not just Adventure Time that gets the Luvisi treatment, check out Yoshi after the jump and THE MOST DISTURBING PICTURE OF DONALD DUCK EVER. We haven’t included that one though, you’ll have to check it HERE.

Check it out… »

VILLE VALO’S TOP WEEPY FILMS

The other day we sat down with the the king of love metal, HIM’s Ville Valo to talk about what films make him cry proper man tears. This might have been because HIM’s new album is called Tears On Tape, or it might have been an enormously happy coincidence. We just don’t know. But here’s what made his eyes shed Finnish tears…

“The first one would be City Lights, the Charlie Chaplin film, where he meets a blind girl selling flowers and the girl doesn’t realise he’s a beggar living on the street. It’s a wonderful love story. When I was a kid I had this old projector so we had these old-school film nights and this touched my heart. I was like four years old. It’s not necessarily the film that makes me cry, it’s the fact it’s nostalgic and brings back the memories, the smell of popcorn and those film nights.”
Check it out… »

BREAKING BAD: THE LEGO VIDEO GAME

God damn, this should be real. Also, spoilers ahoy!

WELL, HEMLOCK GROVE IS FUCKING DISGUSTING

Hemlock Grove is a new Netflix-only horror show from producer Eli Roth, and we’ve only seen half of the first episode (The Valleys came on) so we don’t really know what to expect from it yet. Still, if the above clip is anything to go by then it looks FUCKING WICKED.

It’s on, well, Netflix at whatever bloody time you want to watch it.

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM BEING AT MONDAY NIGHT RAW LAST NIGHT

Those big brawling bastards from WWE are over in the UK at the minute on the Wrestlemania Revenge Tour and we were lucky enough to get tickets to see the infamous Monday Night Raw at the O2 Arena in London. SmackDown is at the O2 tonight, but this is what we learned from WWE’s premier show…

Everyone knows Fandango’s theme tune and will sing it relentlessly until he appears – then everyone will lose their shit while he ballroom dances his way to victory.
Even though we’re in the UK, William Regal still can’t win. Poor William.
It doesn’t matter who you are, your name will be chanted. Including JBL, Mike Chioda and Cameraman.
Most people still hate John Cena.
Even if you’re wearing a John Cena t-shirt it’s apparently still ok to boo him.
Undertaker is still the meanest motherfucker alive.
Mexican waves are awesome.
Mexican waves get old fast.
Mexican waves suck.
It’s only acceptable to cheer for The Shield when they’re kicking the fuck out of John Cena.
Mick Foley can still get a cheap pop by naming the city he’s in.
Big E Langston is like a tank with legs. There’s more muscles on him than in our entire office, and we’re ripped… honest.
It doesn’t matter if you’re meant to be a heel, the British public will cheer you if you’re a bit of a bastard. See Dolph Ziggler, Damien Sandow and Antonio Cesaro.
Triple H spitting water everywhere still makes him cooler than you.
No matter how hard you try, no-one is going to continue your chant of ‘Zigglypuff’. Sorry guys.
It’s impossible not to be the happiest person ever while shouting ‘Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!’ with thousands of other people.

If you’re in London and have a bit of money spare then get along to SmackDown tonight. The Undertaker will be there! And Randy Orton, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio… the list goes on. Or if you’re in Nottingham the Raw guys are putting on a show at the arena. It’ll be wicked, we promise.

VERILY, ‘TIS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE’S BIRTHDAY TODAY

Forsooth, it’s possibly Shakespeare’s birthday today. We say possibly because nobody knows exactly when he was born. He definitely died on 23 April though, plus it’s St George’s Day, so today has come to represent his birthday, innit. Think of what we wouldn’t have without him – there’d have been no Romeo & Juliet movie, so we possibly wouldn’t have Homeland, because Claire Danes’ career might have petered out. There’d have been no Avengers movie, because there’d have been no Thor one, and that was directed by Kenneth Branagh who properly bums Shakespeare. There’d be no League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier, because Prospero out of The Tempest has a beefy role in that. And there wouldn’t be the greatest Shakespeare scene ever, this one from Last Action Hero:
Check it out… »