Back in issue 182 we spoke to awesome horror bastard Eli Roth, known for writing and directing Cabin Fever and the Hostel movies, as well as producing a bunch more movies and beating Nazis up with a bat in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds. Since Halloween is approaching and we’re excited about it, we thought we’d revisit the twenty questions we asked him.
1. As a youngster, what was your favourite film? Who was the best character?
Well I think it changed with age – when I was three it was The Wizard of Oz and I really loved the flying monkeys. Then when I was six, it was Star Wars and Darth Vader – that was for a long, long time.
2. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten?
In third grade I ate an ant once for a dare because I was told it would get me into the Ant-eating Club. It was pretty gross – it was the first and last ant I ever ate and I felt pretty bad about it. I got into the club, but it wasn’t really a club I wanted to be a part of once I was in it!
3. If you could throw one person off TV into a pen of lions, who would it be?
Glenn Beck. I think it’s about time he should be fed to the lions.
4. If you could have any super power, what would you go for?
The power to control when you have to go to the bathroom.
5. Favourite animal?
I like gorillas, they are easily my favourite. Mainly because I closely resemble one and have been compared to one throughout my entire life.
6. What for you makes an awesome night out properly awesome?
If I was out and I ran into a gorilla and it saw Glenn Beck and ate him – gorillas might be vegetarian but this one would say “I’ll make an exception”. That would be the greatest night out ever.
7. What’s the first album you ever bought?
It might be Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by AC/DC. I thought it was a really cool album cover, with the black eyes. I think I was nine when I bought that – it was pretty badass.
8. Who’s the biggest arsehole famous person you’ve ever met?
I don’t know if he counts as a famous person but when I was a stand-in I worked on Meet Joe Black and the director – Martin Brest – fired me for being an untalented stand-in. He was a fucking asshole. I was standing in for Jake Weber who is about two inches taller than me, so the DP asked me to perch up on my feet and I ended up doing this weird velociraptor walk. Martin Brest walked by and said “That is one untalented stand-in, fire him.” We all thought it was a joke but he was serious, he was like “I never want to see him again, he’s fired.” But then he directed Gigli, so there is justice in the world.
10. Have you got any phobias?
I have a fear of being eaten by sharks – I’m sure it’s going to happen too. I feel like no matter what I do in life it’s going to lead to a certain set of circumstances where I get eaten by a great white shark. And as I’m getting eaten I’m gonna shout “THIS IS IRONIC!”
11. If you weren’t doing this for a living, what would you be doing?
I would probably be a teacher, or maybe a shark-keeper at the aquarium to get over my fear. I would go down and clean up the tank in my scuba gear.
12. What social networking shit do you like?
I love Twitter, it’s really fun. Once as an experiment I had cyber sex with all my fans for one night. In one night I had sex with hundreds of people and sent them the filthiest messages I could. It was hilarious but people freaked out. I think if I had sex with those girls in real life it wouldn’t have been a problem, but somehow doing it in an electronic message turned it ugly. People really freaked out but I thought it was absolutely hilarious.
13. What’s the most you’ve ever needed the toilet?
Oh my God, once I had an attack of tuna-rrhoea. I had bad tuna in a restaurant and it was terrifying – I don’t think I even made it to my front door. I think I just exploded in my neighbour’s yard and didn’t tell him – I just hoped it rained.
14. What’s the worst idea you’ve ever had?
God, I remember when I was eighteen me and a couple of friends climbed Mount Washington in New Hampshire – there was supposed to be a rainstorm that day but we went anyway! Well, we got trapped in the worst electrical storm in the history of Mount Washington. We had to walk down right through it and every five seconds there were lightning bolts – three people were killed. Not in our group luckily – thank God we weren’t one of them. We should have gone bowling!
15. What’s your alcoholic drink of choice?
I like wine. I’ve really been drinking a lot of Chilean Carmenera because I’ve been filming in Chile. But I think my drink of choice at the moment is the Pisco Sour, it’s the national drink of Chile, it’s delicious. I highly recommend it, it’s so good.
16. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to a girl you fancied?
I once met a girl, I won’t even say who it was – let’s just say she was a very famous supermodel – and as a joke to see how she reacted I said “It must be so great now that you’ve retired to eat whatever you want.” She went “What?” I said “No, you look healthy!” She got really, really mad. I couldn’t resist the joke. Who says that? What an idiot.
17. What have you seen that you really wish you could un-see?
Jesus. Valentine’s Day – the movie. You have to bleach your brain to watch that.
18. Tell us an AMAZING thing we wouldn’t know about you.
I’m learning classical piano, I’m obsessed with it. When I’m 50 I want to be able to sit down and just play Bach, Mozart, Clementi and Chopin. I’ve been learning for three years.
19. What’s the punchline to your favourite ever joke?
They don’t fucking listen!
20. If we gave you a million dollars and you had 24 hours to rinse it, how would you do so?
I would shoot one scene of the world’s most expensive sci-fi space movie. Or just one shot, and I could be like “That shot cost a million dollars!” Then I’d see if James Cameron or Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson wanted to buy it from me.