FRONT Magazine

I ONLY WATCH 18S’ MUST-WATCH MOVIES: MANIAC COP

As we all know, The Evil Dead is being remade and for some reason (the news of which forced me to force a Haribo Tangfastic behind my eyeball) it’s an 18, so it’s obviously going to be good. Anyway, the original is wicked (the two sequels can suck my low-hanging unbroken turd) and Bruce Campbell as Ash is wickeder. Well Brucey baby was also in another peng horror film a couple of years later – Maniac Cop.

Maniac Cop is a horror film about a MANIAC FUCKING COP who is running about the shop merking up bare mans on the regs, and Bruce Campbell plays a rookie police officer who ends up getting blamed for the murders, so he sets off to find out who the real nutcase is before all Hell breaks loose. I’m all about watching films that can be summed up in one sentence, that’s why I love my sex-tape so much – ‘Man attempts to have sex with supermodel but does not even approach her so goes home and punches himself in the dick until he finishes.’

The ‘Maniac Cop’ is played by the man with the biggest chin in the world – Robert Zdar – and he’s one of the most imposing bad guys to ever grace the silver screen. Bruce Campbell is the perfect foil too, running about like an abdab and overacting to the best of his ability. The whole awesome affair is overseen by director William Lustig, who’s a bit of a legend because he directed Maniac before this, oh and obviously Maniac Cop II and Maniac Cop III: Badge of Silence. He was also an uncredited director on the Jess Speakman martial arts flick The Expert which is FUCKING DONKEY’S WICKED PENISES.

But the best thing about Maniac Cop is its tagline, which is quite possibly one of the best taglines ever created: “You have the right to remain silent…forever.” How good is that? The tagline for Maniac Cop II is shit though, can you guess what it is? Wait for it…

“You have the right to remain silent…forever.”

OH IT’S EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME.

They could have at least gone for “You have the right to remain silent…forever…again” or something. Lazy. At least Maniac Cop III uses “The wrong arm of the law is back!” Much better, well done everyone.

Anyway, watch it, it’s good. It’s on the Horror Channel tonight at 9pm.

Visit my webbo shite at www.ionlywatch18s.com

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