It’s a well-known fact (we mean, everybody knows it) that Jurassic Park is one of the single best films ever committed to celluloid. It is flawless and amazing and if it was a human being, we would marry it. Fuck it, we’d marry it anyway.
They made a sequel to it, obviously, and unfortunately it wasn’t as good. BUT. It is still good, because it has dinosaurs in it. Let’s reiterate that for you – it has dinosaurs in it so it is good. Yes, we are correct. So yeah, not as good as the original, but still good, because of the dinosaurs.
If for some reason you haven’t seen it – it’s about some pesky humans going off to another dinosaur island (because last time they did that it went GREAT) to do some train-spotting or something. Obviously things go wrong and there are bad dinosaurs hurting people (like last time) and eventually there’s a fucking T-Rex in sodding San Diego because fuck off, that’s why.
It’s probably the weakest of the three, but it’s still a great deal of fun (dinosaurs, remember), and contains the following classic scenes:
- Velociraptors taking people down in the long grass (viewed from above)
- Two Tyrannosaurs ripping a poor bloke in half
- The ‘trailer hanging over the cliff’ scene
- The T-Rex scaring the shit out of everyone in the waterfall
- That bloke getting killed by all those little pesky dinosaur things in the river
- The Pterodactyl at the end
But there are also some shit bits, like when
- That child gymnastics a Velociraptor to death
But mainly, it’s good.
It’s on ITV2 at 6.30pm.