FRONT Magazine

“I GET AN ERECTION WHEN I NEED A PISS” – TWENTY QUESTIONS WITH JASON MEWES


A while ago, we put our regular set of questions to Jason Mewes, best known as Jay of Jay & Silent Bob fame. He was promoting Todd & The Book Of Pure Evil, which is genuinely loads of fun. He’s also on about a hundred podcasts a week. This interview first appeared in FRONT 169, available HERE.

1. As a youngster, what was your favourite film?
I loved House Party. I’d say that’s still my favourite film.

2. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten?
Pussy! No, I’m just kidding. Clams – I ate one once and it felt like someone had came in my mouth. Uh, probably, I don’t know what cum feels like in there.

3. What’s your favourite swear word?
Fuckface!

4. If you could have a super power, what would it be?
Flying, because I hate traveling. I love getting places, but I hate travelling, and sitting in airports for fucking hours at a time.

5. What for you makes an awesome night out properly awesome?
I would say coming home and ejaculating. You can go anywhere and do anything as long as you make it home and cum.

6. What’s the first album you ever bought?
It was something by King Diamond. I don’t know the name of the album, but eventually I bought them all.

7. What will your funeral be like?
I don’t want to be buried, the thought of that freaks me out. I’d kinda like to be put in a mausoleum, just in case they’ve messed it up and I come back to life.

8. Who’s the biggest arsehole famous person you’ve ever met?
I didn’t really meet him, but Jack Nicholson was at a benefit I was at, taking pictures with some females. I asked for a picture and he looked at me and just turned around and walked away. I don’t want to say he’s an asshole, because maybe he was having a bad day, but that was the most unpleasant meeting I’ve had with a famous person.

9. Have you got any phobias?
Germs, like my buddy used my fingernail clippers so I told him he could have them. Also being trapped – Kevin Smith has an elevator in his house and I got stuck in it, and it’s tiny.

10. If you weren’t doing this for a living, what would you be doing?
Before all this I was doing roofing, so hopefully I’d be running my own roofing business.

11. What social networking shit do you like?
I hate the paranoia it can breed, like if a guy my wife used to sleep with writes on her Facebook “Good seeing you last night”, it could seem like they hung out all night in a fancy hotel when really they just talked for two minutes. It can definitely get you in trouble. Things can be misconstrued.

12. What’s the most you’ve ever needed the toilet?
I’ve crapped my pants plenty of times where I’ve tried to be funny and fart and then I’ve shat myself. Also whenever I really have to piss, I can’t think at all. Also I get an erection when I have to piss, just to let you know.

13. What’s the worst idea you’ve ever had?
I’d say trying heroin – that didn’t turn out so well.

14. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to a hot girl?
“Hey, try this heroin!” Nah, I never really tried to impress people. I’d just get to the point and say “Hey, can we sleep together? Can I see your vagina?”

15. What’s the most illegal thing you (or “a friend of yours”) have ever done?
Again, heroin’s up there. I’ve never stolen anything, shot anyone or stabbed anyone. Shooting drugs in public is pretty illegal I guess.

16. What have you seen that you really wish you could un-see?
A video of a dude taking a big horse penis in his butt. He died. He tried it a few times and the third or fourth time, the horse went too deep and killed him.

17. Why should people watch Todd Vs The Book Of Evil?
It’s got the whole 90210 or Degrassi teen-issues thing going on, but with creatures, special effects, monsters and penises. It’s very entertaining.

18. What’s the punchline to your favourite ever joke?
“What about that donuts?”

19. If we gave you a million quid and you had 24 hours to rinse it, how would you do so?
A million? Can I have more? I’d have a private jet and I’d buy my wife some luggage.

20. Where’s the shittest place you’ve ever been?
Oh shit, Frankfurt.

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