FRONT Magazine


HOLY SHIT!! I feel like at some point over the past month a lunatic scientist managed to distil the essence of PURE-PARTY and inject it into my spinal column! It’s been intense, have you missed me? Probably not. Have you missed hearing about the most unreal kickass bands in the whole world, before anyone else? OF COURSE YOU FUCKING HAVE!!

The sensible thing to do at this juncture would be to slooooow dooowwwn, but HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS! No chance you bearded wonder, because the season of Xmas Parties has landed and it’s gonna get wild. So far I’m signed up to five and I’m going to try – TRY – to make a video of the whole season for this here blog. I don’t want to promise it, last time I tried to make a home movie it looked like a bearded mammoth was trying to squash a dolphin – but I expect this will be a different type of film altogether, probably. SO, watch this space.

Talking of stupid shit I’ve made while drunk. On the way back from Gallows’ album release party, I was sitting on the last train home, bored and train-buddy-less, opposite me was a drunk business dude with quaffed hair and an aura of self-importance who looked equally bored and was giving off a strong vibe that he was contemplating killing himself. I decided not to help, I wanted nothing less than to share in his drunken misery, so I pulled out my iPad and loaded up my KORG Synth App like trendy wanker. 40 minutes later I was losing my mind headbanging and getting the fuck down to the most obscure, glitchy, badly produced electronic music ever – the businessman opposite me asked me if I was Skrillex, I just looked at him and said ”if you don’t know, then you’ll never know.” In my drunken stupor I had quite literally become someone from Shoreditch.

Luckily, during the haze I managed  (managed is so not the right word, it’s far too positive) to record part of my musical creation. Why not have a listen? (Ok, don’t answer that, just listen to it. You can listen while continuing to read the blog…fucking yes!! Technology eh? What a belter).

Abs – Glitch Drunk

Annnnyyyyyway, time to talk about some music that doesn’t suck!!


You know how I mentioned a lunatic scientist who’s managed to distil the essence of pure party? Well these guys are the musical equivalent of that dude!!

Check this video they made for me about their British Invasion!

If you like Fall Out Boy, early Panic At The Disco, Four Year Strong, Taking Back Sunday and bands of that ilk, I reckon you may well think these guys fucking RULE! It’s like they’ve found every good instrumentalist in the Virginia Beach area and said, “Let’s be in a band!” Dual vocals, keyboards, electric violins, mandolins, dance breaks, big chords, badass drums and more melody than your mind can handle! Listen to them once and you’ll think “hmm, these guys are sick,” listen twice and a meat-hook of melody will be slung into your brain and you’ll be forever dragged around the plains of Texas by a dude who wears people’s faces and seems really fucked up, but really just wants to go to a Audiostrobelight concert, rock the fuck out and find someone to love.

The guys have finished recording an album with Will Pugh (of Cartel fame) and the first single off the album is a banger called California Gold Rush, check the teaser video here:

I wanted to have a chat to the guys about life in a PARTY BAND so I sold one of my cats for a plane ticket and flew out to Virginia Beach. I searched far and wide for the guys but couldn’t find them anywhere, I started to think that maybe they’d lied to me and that they were actually a British band from Scunthorpe, so I devised a failsafe way of finding out if they were indeed, in the vicinity…

300,000 flyers, 10,000 posters, some strategically placed women and a handjob to the Sheriff later I threw the biggest party in Virginia Beach history. Find out if Audiostrobelight turned up, later today…

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