(Note: this interview originally appeared in issue 158, available from our store here and also featuring a Mel Clarke/Hannah Martin cover shoot, Paul Rodriguez, Wiley and much, much more.
Is this the biggest your beard’s ever been?
I think it’s the biggest I’ve had it going out in public. We’ve been touring for the last few months and I couldn’t be bothered keeping myself kempt at all, so I’m happy to embrace the jungle-man, caveman look. I’m lucky in my job that I can look like a fucking idiot if needs be.
Do you ever stick biros in it to show off?
Yeah, I’ve had a screwdriver in my beard, and I’ve managed to fit an ounce of hash in my beard. We’ve never smuggled drugs across borders, but just as a laugh, it turns out you could get drugs across a border in my beard. Don’t do drugs, kids, but a lot is possible if your beard is big enough.
What are your wife’s thoughts on your giant beard?
Thankfully she quite likes it. It’s maybe getting a bit too wild for her, but she hates me without it. I don’t think she loves me. She married the beard, not the man.
Traditionally people have felt like art comes from suffering, but you always seem happy as fuck, and you’re really successful now. How does that work?
Well, I’m lucky that any kind of problems I have, I put into my songs, and I enjoy what we do. We’re lucky, but I’ve never sung about the struggles of being in a band, so how things are going with Biffy won’t have a great impact on our songs. I do think that whenever something’s getting me down I tend to feel slightly more creative. If I didn’t get to sing about things I think I’d be a bit tougher to deal with cos I wouldn’t have an outlet.
Do you drink before going on stage?
Definitely. The days of getting totally wrecked before a show are gone because we’re playing longer shows now – on our last UK tour we played for an hour and 45 minutes. But I’ll drink two or three vodkas, then I’m ready to go.
You don’t have to be all super-pro now?
When bands go “We don’t drink on tour, we get up in the morning and we start working out” it’s like, fuck’s sake, you’re in a rock and roll band. You obviously owe people a good show, but have a drink, don’t put restrictions on yourself. It’s a lucky thing to be able to make music. I always want it to feel like a hobby and a thrill to do – I don’t want to wake up and think “Well, I’d love to have a drink today but I can’t, I’ve got a rock show”. Fuck it! The same with smoking. I mean, I’m gonna cut down on my smoking hopefully, cos everyone should when they hit thirty…
Are we talking fags or weed here?
Both, to be honest. I’m not so worried about the weed, actually, that gives me a happy place – if I didn’t smoke weed I would be a complete and utter fucking nightmare all of the time. But it’s rock and roll, we’re not in business here. It should always be a fun thing, being in a band. I would hate it if our band ever became so fucking professional that we weren’t allowed a fucking drink.
You’d be seen as letting Scotland down as well…
Well, absolutely, Maybe it’s a Scottish thing, that it’s so deep-rooted in my system that I have to tell everyone to go out and fucking start drinking.
There seems to be a disproportionately high amount of writers and musicians from Scotland, is it anything to do with the place?
Scottish people are quite cynical, so you need to be really fucking impressive to impress your fellow Scots. I genuinely think Scotland has a completely different weather system, so when kids are growing up they sit in their rooms a lot. It’s miserable and dark and it’s pissing it down, so you listen to music all night, or sit and read. I think if I grew up somewhere hot I wouldn’t have started writing songs.
With stuff like Sonisphere, do you still get starstruck playing with big acts?
Yeah, definitely, although we’ve just finished a US tour with Foo Fighters so we’re better at dealing with it now. Dave Grohl’s such a lovely, friendly guy that he puts you at ease right away, but a couple of times Dave would leave the room and we’d be thinking, fuck! We played a Foo Fighters song at our first ever gig when we were 15 and skipping school. The best way to combat it is to not try and comprehend it, because if you over-think it you’ll have a fucking meltdown. I think if I met James Hetfield he’d scare the shit out of me, he’s a big fella. I’ve walked past him a couple of times and got quite intimidated.
If James Hetfield’s just milling about, is it acceptable to get a wacky photo doing a thumbs up?
Bands get a bit of an ego, us maybe less than others, but a lot of bands wouldn’t want to approach another band and say “Oh, I’m in awe of you, can we do a cool photo?” I’d definitely be up for fucking doing that, though, cos you never know when you’re gonna get a chance to do these things again. We’ve made five records and things are going well but we’re cynical people and we’re aware things could fall apart at any moment. When you get the chance to hang out with Dave Grohl, you want to remember that. If it all goes wrong you’ve gotta be able to look back and think “Fuck, can you believe we were in that situation?”
You always play without shirts, but doing that seems like you miss the drama of the big shirts-off moment…
When we started not wearing shirts it was because we were really sweaty. Now we go on like that so we’re exposed – being a grown man in just a pair of trousers in front of thousands of people is quite an embarrassing thing to do. It helps us strip away any kind of pretension and almost feels like we’re getting ready for war when we and go and play. If I went on with a t-shirt on I would feel like I was hiding. It’s almost the most relaxing part of the day for me – I’m quite a nervous person most of the time, but when I get on stage I’m like “Here we are, in all our fucking glory, like it or lump it, this is who we are”. That’s why there’s always six nipples when you see Biffy on stage.
Is there any kind of rivalry between the newer post-Cardle fans and the people that have been there from the old days?
I definitely think there’s a bit of it. After the X Factor thing people would go “I heard your song and I totally like it”, and you’d see older fans going, “You’re a fucking idiot, they’ve been around for ages”. I would’ve reacted exactly the same way – when bands I cherished started to get popular or more successful, I’d diss them. And I understand, arena shows aren’t as much fun – if you’ve seen a band in a sweaty wee room and then you go and see them in an arena, it’s not the same experience. But it’s still the same band. We want everything we do to have the Biffy spirit, and I don’t think anyone can say that we’ve ever changed in that manner.
Have you met Matt Cardle?
Bizarrely, we met him last night for the first time. He was a lovely fella, and he was very apologetic. He was just basically saying, “I love your band, I’m sorry for all this shit”. He’s just a guy that wants to sing, that was in bands and likes good music – he likes us, so he must be onto a winner. Last night he was talking about Tool. He’s just a dude that got caught up in the wrong TV show.
We read you’re into beekeeping, and have the best question ever…
I fucking read that as well, and I’m not! Someone’s had a laugh on Wikipedia, it’s bullshit! But ask it anyway.
Fuck, it was a really good question. Well, when people do beards of bees they have to be completely clean-shaven or the bees get stuck and die. So the question was, what’s more manly, having a big fuck-off beard or being covered in bees?
No way! You’ve actually investigated that? That’s brilliant. Anyone could have a foot-long beard but not everyone could have a beard of bees. I’d shave my beard off and show my weak fucking chin to get a face full of bees. My wife would leave me, but at least I’d have a thousand bees on my face.
Biffy’s official site is here, where you’d expect it to be, at biffyclyro.com.
Peter Marano
January 12, 2012
Who did the illustration?