FRONT Magazine

“NEVER BUY AN ENDANGERED SHARK” – TWENTY QUESTIONS WITH MATT BIGLAND FROM DINOSAUR PILE-UP

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We recently asked Matt from Dinosaur Pile-Up (whose new album Nature Nurture is out now) our big old list of questions. He did a fucking fantastic job of answering them. It’s a good read, this. The band are on tour all through July – check out the dates on their official website. Matt can be followed on Twitter and all. He’s the one on the left.

1. What’s the best pair of shoes you’ve ever owned?
Probably my handmade Mexican flip-flops. They were made by some dude clearly off his face on cactus-root. They have a wolf’s face on them and I wear them when it’s business time.

2. Favourite video game of all time?
Big question. Maybe Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2? That or Tiny Tower on my phone last month. It’s literally “holy-fuck-addictive”.

3. What’s your most attractive body part?
My size thirteen feet. I can thank my genes for them. They’re maybe not so much “attractive” as “shocking”. But still, a main attraction all the same.

4. How many members of Wu-Tang can you name without cheating?
Method Man. That’s about it. I never felt Wu-Tang much. I was more about Rage.

5. Where’s the best place in the world?
Blow Job City.

6. You can travel through time. Where do you go and what do you do there?
YES. I’ve been waiting for this question my whole goddamn career. So here goes. Stage 1: I go back to the 90s and invent the internet. Boom. That’s a win already. Stage 2) This is a bit of a freebie. Just for shits and giggles I time-hop to the casting of Home Alone, I guess late 80s. I knock off Macaulay Culkin and nick his slot. My life changes forever and I rise to child-star fame. (I looked pretty similar as a dorky little kid). Stage 2: With all my free time now that I’m a child-mega-star I practice skateboarding every day until I’m Tony Alva. In fact, fuck it – maybe I’d invent skateboarding. Then after all this I’d time travel back to right now and I’d be “Awesome”… Sorry… I’d be “Awesome-er”.

7. What’s your favourite insult?
“SUCK MY FUCKING DICK-HEAD” I can’t take credit for this. Mike my drummer actually came up with it. It’s genius because you get to insult the person twice, whilst simultaneously confusing them. Tips: A) Say it quickly. B) It sounds great in a Yorkshire accent. Which I don’t have.

8. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever suffered?
I don’t know. I almost had “dick-snap” once? You ever had that? It’s probably one of the most terrifying experiences you’ll ever have. One second you’re having the best sex you’ve ever had – then the next you think you’ve snapped your dick in half and you’re rolling around screaming “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!” It’s a mood killer.

9. What’s your favourite mythical creature?
Chewbacca. I know he’s not necessarily ‘mythical’ as such, but I know I could sit down and have a beer with him or go and buy records or whatever. It’d be perfect. I know he’d nail it as well when giving me ‘girl advice’… I need girl advice.

10. Favourite smell?
Petrol. I love that shit.

11. What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten?
Fish that had been un-refrigerated for about 4 months. It was in a jar, I didn’t look, and then it was fizzing in my mouth. It was TOTALLY fucked.

12. What’s the first album you ever bought?
I didn’t buy it. I stole it from my brother’s room, and it was either Prodigy – Jilted Generation, Rage Against The Machine – Evil Empire or Nirvana – Nevermind. Why would I even need to go and buy another album for at least two years? Thanks bro!

13. Booze of choice?
Hmmmmm. Vodka? Or whiskey? I dunno. It changes. We drink mostly JD on the road. Pretty standard. My favorite cocktail is a White Russian.

14. Most illegal thing you’ve ever done?
Me and my friend Tom Hudson (from Pulled Apart By Horses) were in SXSW. We were playing a show together at like 10am, one after another. It was horrific. We got straight on the quadruple JD and coke’s to get rid of our nerves. We nailed the nerves for sure, and then puked on a parked cop car straight afterwards. It was funny.

15. If you’d never formed a band, what would you be doing?
Trying to form a band.

16. Why should people buy Nature Nurture and come see you on your tour?
Because it will make you suddenly realise that whatever else you’ve been listening to is totally dull and you’ve wasted two years of your life not listening to us. Bummer for you.

17. Superpower of choice?
Teleportation. That or having like a super-natural-skateboarding ability where I can never be hurt or fucked-up. If I could do both at the same time it’d be called “Teleskating”. That wouldn’t be shit.

18. Most you’ve ever needed the toilet?
A ten hour drive through Europe. I was gonna do the bottle.

19. Stupidest thing you’ve done to impress a sexy girl?
Spent loads of money I didn’t have. Here’s a piece of advice. Never, EVER, ever, buy an “Endangered Shark” because the girl that you dig likes “Endangered Sharks”… Why? Because Endangered Sharks are stupid, and if you try to feed them, they will try to BITE YOUR FREAKING ARM OFF.

20. What have you seen that you wish you could un-see?
A kid face planting the barrier at one of our shows. He hit that thing like he was trying to fucking cut it in half with his face. Never gonna happen. It was SO… BAD… And now it’s back on loop. Nice.

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