Holy cats, it’s the weekend again. That can mean only one thing: popping a kick-arse film in the DVD player and getting woefully shitfaced. This week it’s the 1993 Sam Raimi masterpiece Army Of Darkness. Rules after the jump. Jump!
First off, there are loads of different versions of this. Our personal favourite is the one with the post-apocalyptic ending, but we’ll try to cater for fans of all versions with this.
Drink every time one of the following takes place:
- Any kind of montage
- Ash just happens to have really useful shit in his boot
- Killer shot of the Oldmobile
- Ash gets hit in the face
- Ash does SCIENCE
- Ash bollockses something up (magic words, magic potion etc)
- Something happens that is so fucking cool you nearly piss
- Any character’s beard is unconvincing
- Ted Raimi appears playing a different character
- An awesomely-unlikely bit of slapstick takes place, like the Three Stooges jabbing-in-the-eye moment
Drink at these amazing lines:
- “You ain’t leadin’ but two things right now, Jack and Shit. And Jack left town.”
- “Yo! She-bitch!”
- “Give me some sugar, baby”
- “Little goody two-shoes!”
- “Klaatu…. barata… nghgkgngnngng!”
- “I ain’t that good” OR “Good… bad… I’m the guy with the gun.”
- “I SLEPT TOO LONG!”
- “Hail to the king, baby”
- “Get the fuck out of my face”
- “Honey, you got reeeeal ugly”
Down whatever’s in front of you when:
- The Oldsmobile drops from the sky
- Ash’s stump slides beautifully into the back of the chainsaw
- Two rivals embrace, leading a huge crowd to cheer wildly
- You see a copy of Fangoria
BONUS! Induce vomiting if:
- Anyone watching it for the first time says, “That wouldn’t happen.”
Next week: The Mighty Ducks
i, Coomber
September 13, 2009
Awesome film, awesome rules!
BigJim
September 13, 2009
Classic movie to get hammered to.
Only thing is that, the line “I’ve Slept too Long!” is in the European version of the movie. Over here in the U.S. we have the S-Mart ending.
LiaMMV
September 13, 2009
No mention of boom sticks. Sad.
djezza1988
September 14, 2009
this is fate! i rented out Army of Darkness on saturday from blockbuster and i am definitely gonna get a group of mates together to do this. ill make sure i remember a gd drunken comment after the film
SkullOfFrost
September 15, 2009
great IDEA!!!!!!!!!
Chengy
September 16, 2009
Fuck this movie is just good old fun to watch. I think adding the drinking may really fuck with your head. Oh wait that is the other thing i was on when i watched this. Whatever. This movie makes me laugh no matter what and I have seen it like 12 times now.
stuart 1988
October 4, 2009
now all i can say is fucking awsom film and any one that diss agrees can feel the rath of my boomstick lol…
ako
September 10, 2011
Thank you for this. I’ve been looking around for a while but have only recently stumbled upon it here!
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