With the news that Stone Cold Steve Austin is set to host a new reality show called Redneck Island (yes, amazing), we thought we’d dust off an old interview we did with him. (Note: This interview initially appeared in issue 161 along with a horror A-Z, Sabine’s tribute to Poltergeist, Machine Head’s dead-dog moshpit and the world’s drunkest skateboarder. Buy it from our store here. Confusingly, the picture we’re using first appeared in issue 136, available here, in which you are taught how to make fart noises with your hands…)
1. As a kid, what was your favourite film?
I’d have to go with Rocky. I was running down the street the next morning and drinking raw eggs thinking I was going to be the heavyweight champion of the world.
2. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten?
One of my ex-wives’ cooking. I won’t be specific as to which one. I’ve got three.
3. If you could throw anyone off of TV into a pen of lions, who’d you go for?
A guy named Bentley from the last season of The Bachelorette. He’s just a fucking jerk. Yeah, I watch The Bachelorette.
4. What superpower would you like?
I can’t hear worth a shit so I’d have supersonic hearing and hear like a damn son of a bitch.
5. What’s the first album you ever bought?
I was a huge Kiss fan, so it would have been one of their albums on 8-track.
6. What will your funeral be like?
I’m going to be cremated and have my ashes spread out on my ranch.
7. Who’s the biggest arsehole famous person that you’ve ever met?
I can’t say I’ve met too many big assholes. Vince McMahon? Nah man. I’ve had my feuds with him but we get on like gangbusters.
8. Do you have any phobias?
I’m not big on tight spaces. There was once twelve of us in a little bitty elevator and that son of a bitch got stuck in between the floors and I was like “What the fuck?” Confined spaces don’t thrill me at all.
9. If you didn’t do this for a living, what would you do?
I’d still be driving a forklift truck in a freight dock. Or I’d have been a goddamn park ranger.
10. What’s your take on social networking shit?
When I first heard of Twitter I was like “What the fuck is Twitter?” but I’ve grown to really enjoy having that relationship with my fans.
11. What’s the most you’ve ever needed the toilet?
I had a damn accident in the ring in South Africa wrestling Yokozuna. Yoko picked me up and slammed me and I shit my pants. That was a tricky day at the office. I’m lucky I wore black trunks.
12. Booze of choice?
Chopin vodka on the rocks. I keep my vodka in the freezer – if I go down to a bar and they just have a bottle of vodka sitting there on the rack, that’s not worth a shit.
13. What’s the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?
Aw hell, back in the day probably a few drugs, which I won’t name.
14. What have you seen that you wish you could un-see?
When I was on the road once with the WWE, someone had a dump that was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I won’t name the guy, but you’d have heard of him.
15. What’s the worst idea you’ve ever had?
Getting married. I won’t say which time.
16. If we gave you a million quid and you had 24 hours to rinse it what would you do?
I’d buy a shitpile of watches and a bunch of old Ford Broncos.
17. Tell us something awesome we wouldn’t know about you.
I am a damn good speller. I can spell like a son of a bitch. I can’t draw worth a shit but I can spell like a motherfucker!
18. What makes a great night out really awesome?
Good company, a good place, a good atmosphere and no assholes. A lot of times when you go out, when you add up assholes and alcohol you get a bad situation.
19. Why should people watch your new movie Tactical Force? (Note: This interview ran six months ago, it’s been out ages now.)
It’s a cool movie with an interesting storyline I hadn’t seen done before. It’s not an Academy Award winner but it’s a lot of fun.
20. What’s the punchline to your favourite joke?
I’ve done forgot the son of a bitch.