The Emerica team have recently been making their way around the UK. Have a look at the footage Route One shot above featuring The Boss Andrew Reynolds, Herman, Jerry Hsu and the UK team.
SATURDAY SOFA CINEMA: TOY STORY 1 & 2
It’s nice to immerse yourself in a fantasy land now and again isn’t it? Travel off to a magical world of cowboys, space-raiders, dinosaurs and talking vegetables? Well, that’s what you get for taking acid last night, so now you’re coming down and sitting on the sofa feeling sorry for yourself, we suggest watching Toy Story AND Toy Story 2 to make everything seem better. Why? Because they’re very GOOD.
Sometimes you can’t beat a nice, clean, colourful animated flick, and the kings of the computer cartoon are undoubtedly Pixar, and the king of their output is undoubtedly the Toy Story franchise. The original was the first feature-length computer generated movie ever, and it ushered in a style of movie-making that has proved enduringly popular and has consistently dominated box-offices the world over.
THE FIRST TWO TOY STORY MOVIES ARE FUCKING ON TODAY YOU BASTARDS.
Toy Story concerns Woody – a wooden (obviously) cowboy who knows he’s a toy, and a plastic fantastic space commander called Buzz Lightyear who unfortunately doesn’t know he’s a toy – this causes problems between the two. Most of the film concerns Woody and Buzz arguing over whether they’re real or toys (even though Buzz always stops moving when Andy (their human owner) comes into the room – he wouldn’t fucking do that if he thought he was real WOULD HE?), but then extra things happen like their owner’s mental next-door neighbour grabs them and almost turns them into gross, mangled hybrid-toys like the kind we used to make. Power Rangers superglued to Stretch Armstrong = Power Armstrong (follow us on MSN messenger, PoWeRaRmStRoNg69XXX@hotmail.com).
Next up is Toy Story 2, and this time around it’s about Woody getting toynapped by an ‘evil’ toy collector and so all his toy mates have to go off and save him, innit. Along the way they meet a couple of new toys, like an alternative Buzz Lightyear and also the fucking intensely annoying Jessie who continually straddles (PUN FUCKING INTENDED) the edge of completely ruining the film for everybody involved.
Anyway, if it wasn’t for that butt-clenching blackboard-scratch of a character, Toy Story 2 is as good as Toy Story. Pixar have a real knack for crafting a huge ensemble of great characters – each of whom you’ll genuinely care about (apart from Jessie) – and putting them into properly exciting situations and exhilarating set-pieces. It’s also really funny for all ages – for the kids you’ve got people falling over and getting hit by things (we also find this funny) and for the adults you have all the hilarious sexual innuendo that the kids won’t get, like when Buzz says “This is going to be hard” and Jessie says “That’s what she said” and Buzz says “Fuck off Jessie, no one even likes you.”
We’re paraphrasing here of course.
So yeah, we’d suggest you sort your life out and watch them both, because if you haven’t seen them, you’re dead, and if you have, then watch them again.
Toy Story is on ITV2 at 2.20pm and Toy Story 2 is straight after at 4.10pm.
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RIGHT ON, MARK GONZALES
The legend that is The Gonz has released the above video saying why it’s important to save the South Bank in London. It needs to stay!
Go HERE to see what you can do to help.
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“FILM MONEY IS LIKE HEROIN, MAN!” – A CHAT WITH KEVIN SMITH
FRONT recently spoke to Kevin Smith about his podcasting empire and telling Hollywood to go suck it. Here’s a tip for if you’re ever talking to Kevin Smith: make no plans for immediately afterwards. This is a man that can TALK, yo. This is a heavily edited version, because there’s not enough server space in the world to hold everything that was said.
(Note: This interview first appeared in FRONT 179, along with Tonight Alive, Descendents, Arabella’s trainer extravaganza and home visits to “Weird Al” Yankovic and Mastodon. It’s a hell of an issue. Buy it here, or in a limited-edition signed version here.)
Illustrations by Bicicleta Sem Freio.
Hi Kevin! So, you’ve got these DVDs, Teabagging In The UK and Teabagging in Ireland…?
If you’ve always thought the idea of watching two middle aged men speak to one another is boring, this will absolutely change your mind. This is riveting conversation about a guy who almost died from drugs talking himself back into the land of the living. It’s funny as fuck and you’ve never heard sex stories like this before.
You’ve somehow built a podcast-based empire through your SModcast network. Was that a plan?
No, I’m just fucking spinning plates like crazy. My friend Scott was asking recently, like “Was there a moment?”. Like a bi-curious teen saying “When did you know you were gay?” to somebody who figured it out and was eating dick already. But there was no formula. It just happened.
Was it something to do with shitty experiences in Hollywood?
When I made Zack And Miri, even though I like that movie, it wasn’t what I got in this business to do. I was doing an imitation of me, or an imitation of someone else who was influenced by me, Judd Apatow. The kid who made Clerks would have made fun of the guy struggling to figure out what to do next. It felt like in order to stay in the game, I was subverting why I got into the game in the first place. I decided I didn’t want to do it any more.
That’s a pretty big decision to make.
I thought instead of serving one master I’d serve a bunch. You make these films, and people who don’t make films tell you you’re doing it wrong. It was tough to put it to the side, because film money is like heroin, man.
Check it out… »
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THIS FILM IS GIVING US THE CEEBEEGEEBIES
If you’re cool and punk and all that and hate pop music and the mainstream and SHUT UP MUM I DON’T WANT TO TIDY MY ROOM, then you might like this film. Especially if you are an old person and used to live in the US, because you might have visited the place that gives the movie its title – the CBGB Club in New York. It was a mega-hub for hardcore punk and many famous bands used to hang out and play there.
Well they’ve made a movie about it and Ashley Greene is in it and she is the most beautiful woman in the world so we’re in.
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WE WOULD BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR SUMMER
It just so happens she’s doing the same – not for you though. She’s just trying to find the remote actually.
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FILM POSTERS WITH THEIR ORIGINAL BOOK TITLES
It turns out some films are actually from books. We’ve been told they’re like an old fashioned Kindle or something. Anyway, Shystone has created a load of original movie posters with the original book title. We’ll be honest, we had no idea some of these were pre-Kindles. Crazy, huh? More after the jump.
