FRONT Magazine

SHIA LABEOUF REVIEWS NYMPHOMANIAC

nymphomanic2We saw Nymphomaniac Parts I and II the other day, and they were, umm, interesting. Lars Von Trier’s time-spanning sexual tale about one woman and her erotic journey of discovery has big boners and vaginas and shagging and is about five hours long(!). We suppose it’s worth watching to see what all the fuss is about, because you’re definitely not going to see another film like it this year, but on the whole, it’s nothing too groundbreaking or anything. We’ve been saying the word ‘cunt’ in a flippant manner for ages, so that’s nothing new, Lars. Despite all of this, perhaps the most remarkable aspect of the film is Shia Labeouf’s English accent, so to celebrate his achievement, we thought we’d ask the man himself to review the film for us. So in a FRONT exclusive, here’s Shia Labeouf’s review of Nymphomaniac Part I & II:

“Woorts ap, mateeys? Sheea LaBerf hior – yaow all seen mi moovie yet? Naa, coorse ya bladdy avent, eet’s not aven ort yet! Anyhoo, Oil tall yuu a beet abart it. Eet’s abart dees loidy oo liykes ta av sex. She does it all tha bladdy toiym, fram when she woz yang, ta wen she’s an ald bladdy fogey, ya no whot oi meen mayt? So shee’s tallin dis ald man all abart her storry, and you lavely oordiance membars wotch eet in a floishback, innet.

Tha foirst paaart ees oil abart er when shees a taarnoiger, ap ointil shee’s abart thoirty or summart. Then tha soicend port es arl abart er wen shois abart alder, moor loiyk farty or sarmart. Arl tha woil, shee’s garn abart tha ploice, darn lards af sex wiv lards of man, oin’t she? Wat moiks thas diffrarnt thaow, ees ya git ta see arl tha famly joils gowarn inta eachatha. It’s a bat bladdy sorcy, ya knaw? Ya oiven get ti cop a lard of miy mart and tiy vedge, witch ees noice aren’t eet? Check it out… »

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SCARE YOURSELF INTO THE WEEKEND WITH THIS BANSHEE CHAPTER CLIP

Banshee Chapter is about this weird drug which basically means you can see weird fucking monster things from another dimension – IT IS QUITE A BIT SCARY. As you can see from the above clip.

It’s out on DVD on 27 January – grab it if you like having a wet bum.

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WHAT MAD MAGAZINE GAVE THE WORLD

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As the greatest thing in the whole world, sometimes we feel like we should pay tribute to other things that are also great. MAD Magazine is great – it’s been going for over 60 years and opened millions of eyes to the sheer dumbness of a lot of things. Here are a few of the things MAD gave the world.

THE FREEDOM TO SPOOF SHIT
In 1961, a group of composers including Irving Berlin (writer of White Christmas) tried to sue MAD following a series of parody songs they’d published, to be sung to the tunes of the originals. The case ended up in the Supreme Court, which ultimately ruled in MAD’s favour – basically ruling that it was clear these songs were jokes, they weren’t intended to be mistaken for the originals, and that they weren’t damaging. This was seen as a landmark case in terms of making parodies legit, and is still regularly cited in courts. Check it out… »

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SLACKMAN: BATMAN RECUT AS A SLACKER COMEDY


YouTuber OneMinuteGalactica has reconstructed the Dark Knight trilogy as a mumblecore-y, Apatow-y, “manchild stuck in arrested development”-style light comedy, because why not, right? We’d probably watch this, the semi-inspirational story of a wealthy slacker leaving his fantasy life behind thanks to his kind-hearted butler.

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WANNA BREAK STUFF?

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You’re lucky that you can read this cos we’ve been busy playing this game for fucking ages, but we had to tell someone about it. If you look at that image above you get the general idea of the game and just how addictive it is. You get to walk round smashing the living dick out of everything because you’re a cat and they do what they want. Head over HERE and play it now. Thanks us later.

 

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PUT ON YOUR PARTY HAT – IT’S AN EXCLUSIVE ALT GIRL PARTY GALLERY

190-OVERS-GALLERY NEW-10

Your house parties are shit, mate. Times have changed and jelly and ice cream just doesn’t cut it anymore, neither does your ‘wacky’ pin the poo on a bum game (let’s be honest, that’s been flawed since the beginning). So take a lesson from the five sexiest party animals in the world and check out the Alt Girl party. Step into a house of five girls and no rules – starring Lass, Misty, Natalie, Jo Evans and Gemma Stafford – and lose your mind. To celebrate the mindblowing hotness of the Alt Girl party in FRONT 190 (available HERE), we put together this special gallery of never before seen photos. It’s pretty fucking exciting, so what are you waiting for?

If you think this is hotter than the sun, then just think what’s in the magazine! Pick it up HERE or download it HERE.

CHECK OUT THE GALLERY BELOW Check it out… »

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WALT FUCKING DISNEY’S FROZEN


Anything sounds rude if you bleep it – here’s the Disney film Frozen rendered filthy by bleeps and pixelation, and it’s complete fucking dirt. If only Disney was really like this, and had people singing sentences like “People fuck better than reindeers”.

[via the fucking AV Club]

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WE LIKE TASMIN’S BLACK FLAG SHIRT

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