Why? Why would anyone do this, and build a dwarfish robotic version of Albert Einstein, destined to do nothing but haunt the dreams of all who see it? It’s fucking horrifying. If you have a child, and you want your child to grow up to be a celebrity, show them this – it’s always the ones with fucked-up childhoods that grow up to make millions.
(Again, there might be an ad you have to watch before this – nowt to do with us.)
Does what it says on the tin, really*. Note: you might have to sit through an awful advert for gherkins beforehand. That’s nothing to do with us, it’s an NBC thing. If we were advertising gherkins, we’d do it in a way sexier way, believe us.
*It’s actually US talk-show host Jimmy Fallon, innit. Good impression though.
Dear Maria,
Please drop whatever you’re doing and come and visit us at 2-4 Noel Street, London.
Thanks a lot,
Lots of love,
FRONT
x
Nicked off JHeat.
Did you catch that programme a week or two ago where Fearne Cotton met Peaches Geldof and they minced about for an hour and didn’t really achieve anything other than making them both seem really annoying and dull and utterly pointless in the grand scheme of the universe? Did you notice how much Peaches Geldof said ‘like’? No? Well let this really, really hammer it home, then, like.
Get your chubby chops round this one: it’s the ball-bustingly grand new issue of FRONT and, good-gravy, it’s piping hot. Not only does it feature Seren, Jessica and Hettie in the most incredible naked party ever, but there’s also tons of shit-hot bands (like Fightstar and Funeral For A Friend), the awesome FRONT end of year awards show-down, plus a chance for you to get drunk with Macaulay Culkin. Seriously, it’s all going on.
Plus, all the usual wicked shit: Alt Girl, sick fashion stuff, a Von spectacular, Sim-Wise, festive drinking games, and, erm, some boy wizards.
Get your hands on it all this Thursday. Ooof.
Find out more about this issue or buy it now.
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