Look, you’ve not got much choice today ok? There’s not a lot on for some reason (apart from Take Me Out obviously), so you’re going to have to make do with what you’ve got. Which in this case, is Garfield. YEAH, GARFIELD. THE ONE ABOUT THE CAT.
No come back, we’re going to make you want to watch this, it’s not that bad. It’s got Bill Murray in it, who admittedly only signed on because he thought that the screenwriter Joel Cohen was the screenwriter Joel Coen (the Fargo guy). But give old Cohen a break, he had a hand in the Toy Story screenplay so he’s ok by us. Either way, Bill Murray is in this and that can almost never be a bad thing – we can’t think of a time when seeing Bill Murray wasn’t a welcome addition to a film. We’ve also got Jennifer Love Hewitt, who is very pretty and was also in Can’t Hardly Wait and erm, I Know What You Did Last Summer so she’s in our good books. Finally we’ll go with Breckin Meyer, who was in Road Trip – free pass for life.
So you know there’s a lot of talent involved here, chill out for fuck’s sake. You’re not exactly going to be able to follow the intricate plot of Primer or Twelve Monkeys on a Saturday afternoon are you? At least you’ll understand what’s going on in Garfield, which basically involves Garfield running about trying to find a dognapped Odie whilst Breckin Meyer and Jennifer Love Hewitt fall in love or something.
It is very very silly but if you have a cat or a dog you will like it. This is why The Aristocats, Lady and the Tramp, Homeward Bound, Cats and Dogs, 101 Dalmatians and Look Who’s Talking Now are your favourite films and you’ve got them on VHS and DVD and you’ve got all the posters and everything.
So what we’re saying is come for Bill Murray, stay for Bill Murray and then quickly watch another Bill Murray film straight afterwards to erase the painful memories. Oh fuck it, you know what, we had not one complaint to give after watching Garfield – it’s silly and lightweight and you can shut up. If you say otherwise we’ll post the photos of you naked in the pub from last night. Yeah, you don’t want that do you? Exactly. Sit down and shut up.
It’s on ITV2 at 3.20.