Schwarzenegger is better than all other actors, sorry men, sorry people, sorry mammals, sorry organisms, sorry things isn’t he? So by default, so are EVERY SINGLE ONE of his films, even Jingle All The Way. One of his films is Kindergarten Cop, which is very amazing – it’s about this cop that goes undercover at a school to catch a drug-dealer (long-story) (actually not that long, but you know, fuck off). Obviously, putting Arnold in a kindergarten school and surrounding him with a horde of irritating children is a recipe for COMEDY GOLD.
And comedy gold it is, because ARNOLD IS BIG and the KIDS ARE SMALL, ARNOLD IS ANGRY and THE KIDS ARE ANNOYING, ARNOLD IS SLOWLY REALISING THAT HE LIKES TEACHING AND HE FALLS IN LOVE AND – actually scrap this last point that part’s not funny. There’s also some shooting and punching in it too, which is always nice because you’re watching a Schwarzengger movie and he is very good at shooting and punching.
Anyway, out of all Arnold’s comedies, this one is probably the funniest (it’s a toss-up between this and Twins) so if you ain’t seen it, you should literally jump at the chance to watch it today. Literally jump. JUMP NOW.
It’s on ITV at 3.30pm.