A while ago, we put our regular list of queries to the godfather of grime, Wiley. This appeared in FRONT 158, available here. More recently, we also did an awesome fashion shoot with him in issue 175, available here.
1. As a youngster, what was your favourite film?
Back to the Future II. I don’t think flying cars’ll ever happen though – aeroplanes only just get along with each other.
2. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten?
One particular cheeseburger from a service station McDonald’s.
3. If you could throw anyone off TV into a pen of lions, who would you go for?
That’s out of order. Lions is a bit extreme.
4. If you could have any superpower of any kind, what would you go for?
The cashpoint. Go to any cashpoint, put your hand there and as much as you want comes out, boom boom boom. That’s the only power you really need on this Earth.
5. What do you think makes a good night out?
Familiarity is the main thing, partying with people you’re used to having a laugh with. Plus a variety of really good music, and obviously alcohol.
6. What’s the first album you ever bought?
It was probably Musical Youth. I’ve still got it somewhere, probably round my auntie’s house.
7. What will your funeral be like?
I’ll pay for my own coffin, and I want to be buried rather than cremated, in case I’m not really dead – I don’t want to wake up and burn.
8. Who’s the biggest arsehole famous person that you’ve ever met?
You know what, I won’t call them arseholes, because they might think I’m one. I’ve learnt to accept people who are my own kind. I’ve had fallings-out, but that’s just me being me.
9. Do you have any phobias?
Suffocation. You know like when you’re mucking around or you’re play fighting and you can’t breathe for a second, or you’re a footballer and you score and everyone jumps on you?
10. If you weren’t doing this for a living, what would you be doing?
A driving job, loading the car up and just driving round listening to music, probably smoking a bit of weed, you know. Littlewoods or lorries or something.
11. Without looking, how many people follow you on Twitter?
62,000. If I didn’t do it so much I’d have more. [NOTE: This was ages ago. He’s up to 304,000 or so now.]
12. What’s the worst idea you’ve ever had?
Helping people out and not taking a percentage. If I’d had my business brain on I’d be 50 million up.
13. What’s the stupidest way you’ve tried to impress a woman?
Showing off when driving. When you’re paying two grand to get your bonnet fixed, you’re thinking “I thought I was a big boy”.
14. What’s the most illegal thing that you’ve ever done?
Drug-dealing. There’s legal and illegal ways to make money, and legal’s the better way.
15. What have you seen that you wish you could un-see?
Really awful poverty, where it’s people with eyes missing and legs cut off doing shit to each other.
16. If we gave you a million quid and you had had 24 hours to rinse it, what would you do?
I’d just buy three houses for £300,000, spend £50,000 on a few cars and spend the last fifty just on whatever. Them three houses ain’t going nowhere.
17. What’s the punchline to your favourite joke?
I can’t remember. I ain’t heard a joke for yonkers and bonkers. Yeah, I’m getting old.
18. Can you tell us one amazing thing that we’d never think about you?
People think I’m just an MC with lyrics, but I can do everything. I could go on stage and play every instrument then laugh my head off and leave. But I don’t wanna show off.
19. What’s your booze of choice?
Something I hate, that I used to drink a lot of, is champagne. It’s not nice, is it, really? It’s horrible.
20. Why should people buy your new album?
My fans should buy it, and new fans who wonder who Wiley is should buy it, and people who hate Wiley will love it, ‘cos love is hate and hate is love.