Bobby Ray Simmons Jr, aka B.o.B., was recently subjected to our regular bunch of questions. Think for a moment about how rich he is. HE IS SO RICH. This interview originally appeared in FRONT 168, available HERE. Photo by Joseph Cultice.
1. As a kid, what was your favourite film?
I liked the Matrix trilogy. The third one’s not the best but I still liked it. The best character was a tie between Morpheus and Agent Smith.
2. Where’s the shittest place you’ve ever been?
I was somewhere in Mississippi and went into a hotel room, and it was filled with cockroaches. They were in the bed, in the toilet, everywhere – we all just walked out, left the door open, got in the car and left.
3. If you could throw one person off TV into a pen of lions, who would it be?
[US TV host] Geraldo Rivera. A teenager named Trayvon Martin got murdered, and Geraldo said it was his own fault for wearing a hoodie. I guess it’s Geraldo’s fault he’s ended up in a pen of lions.
4. If you could have a super power, what would it be?
I’d have invisibility or the ability to fly. You could use your powers to borrow nice things from stores. You’d bring them back though, it wouldn’t be super-robbery, it would be super-borrowing.
5. What’s your favourite rude word?
Fuck – it can be like “Look at you, you fuck!” or “She wants to fuck” or “This is dope as fuck” or just an interjetction, like “Aw fuck!”. It’s really versatile, plus it has its own hand signal.
6. What for you makes an awesome night out properly awesome?
Lovely ladies and strange clouds. Strange clouds can be a byproduct of a recreational activity, or anything unusual that doesn’t fit into everyday thinking.
7. What’s the first album you ever bought?
My brother found a twenty-dollar bill so we went and bought DMX It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot. I used to play that thing religiously.
8. What will your funeral be like?
I want my funeral to be a 4:20 party. Put it in the air for me! Just don’t ash in my herb pot! In all fairness though I’d have to take my ashes and dump them in the river in Amsterdam.
9. Who’s the biggest arsehole famous person you’ve ever met?
Everyone’s been nice to me, I’ve been lucky. Sometimes I’ve maybe disappointed fans by not being able to stop as much as I’d like, but you win some you lose some. I wish I could clone myself, then everything would be solved.
10. Have you got any phobias?
I don’t have a fear of heights, but I guess you could say I have a fear of landing.
11. If you weren’t doing this for a living, what would you be doing?
I’d be a chef. Probably an Italian chef. Italian cuisine. Or American cuisine. Inspired from cuisines across the globe! Italian food is my specialty, but it’s more the Americanized version of Italian food.
12. What’s the most you’ve ever needed the toilet?
I was in Jakarta, in a hotel lobby, and they gave me all this fruit juice. I was like “This is the life, hand-squeezed fruit juice in Indonesia”, but then reality set in and nature called, and I had to take that call. I made it, just. I landed that plane.
13. What’s the worst idea you’ve ever had?
There are a lot of songs on my hard drive that will never be heard by the public. Yeah, there’s a lot of crap on there.
14. What’s your booze of choice?
I love white wheat beers, I just had a Grimbergen – that stuff with a slice of lemon, oh man! I also enjoy certain alternatives to booze – I’d opt for sativa by day, indica by night. If I ever have pets I’m naming them Sativa and Indica.
15. What’s the punchline to your favourite joke?
Man, these questions make you probe yourself. Uh, that’s what she said.
16. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said trying to impress a woman?
One night I said ‘If you like the Eiffel Tower you’re gonna love this!’ and I pointed towards my, uh, my Eiffel Tower. She replied with a chuckle and a swift exit.
17. Tell us something we wouldn’t know about you.
I’m a green belt in capoeira. I’ve never had to use it since knowing it – when I needed it, I didn’t know it. I guess that’s kind of how life works.
18. Why should people buy your new album Strange Clouds? [NOTE: This was done a while ago, so the album’s long out now.]
If you liked The Adventures Of Bobby Ray you’ll love this album. If you didn’t like it you’ll love this album. And if you’ve never heard of me, you’ll love this album.
19. If we gave you a million quid and you had 24 hours to rinse it, how would you do so?
I’d either buy a million lottery tickets or go on a club/watch/shoe frenzy and see what happens.
20. What have you ever seen that you wish you could un-see?
Do you remember a website called rotten.com? I wish I could erase everything I’ve seen on that website.