We’ve made our annual pilgrimage to Berkshire for three days of loudness and being sick. Here’s what yesterday taught us:
– You know that thing you do in a huge crowd, where you go “Yeah, this’ll be easy, we’re between the vegan sandwich stall, the toilet and the bit where the disabled people go. I’m just off to the bar, back in a sec”? That thing is BULLSHIT. You will never see your friends again if you do that.
– We saw author Will Self walk past Benji from Skindred. Where else would that happen? Nowhere! (Except maybe like a high street or somewhere like that we guess, like if they were in the same city or something. Loads of places potentially actually. Alright, as you were.)
– Chinese burns still hurt. Also, are they racist?
– There’s a place in Reading near the festival called the Genting Club. Hey, imagine if it was called the Djenting Club, eh? That would be [note to self: fill this punch line in later, ideally hilariously].
– Billie Joe Armstrong, when wearing a red-and-black striped jumper, pretty much looks like a grown-up Dennis The Menace. Except for maybe one song in three, when he’s more like Daudlin The Maudlin (yeah, that isn’t anyone, we just thought it was funny when pissed yesterday and are still saying it).
– Making the joke that the Leeds festival is the total opposite of the Wireless festival doesn’t make as many people laugh as you’d hope. Maybe it’s too clever or something.
– There’s something mildly ironic in thousands and thousands of people singing along to Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, a song about loneliness. We’re too hungover to work out what that is though.
– Alkaline Trio still got it, yo.
– Everyone in the world knows the lyrics to Basket Case. The fucking Dalai Lama knows the lyrics to Basket Case.
– Honor from Cerebral Ballzy came into the press tent when we were doing an interview, went up to the fridge (that had a well-intentioned sign on it saying “Please only take one at a time”) and cleared the fucker out. He dropped most of them. Dude’s a fucking rock star.
– Remember when we did a piece in the mag and got New Found Glory to form a human pyramid? Yeah, they remember that too. Usually people forget us by the time we leave the room.
– Saying to the bar staff, “Haha, you can give me them for free if you want” gets zero laughs and marks you out as terrible.
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